Me,My heart and my brain

It was an early morning,I woke up..I rarely get up so early,but today it was a diffefent day. My heart was still sinking,I tried explaining my heart since I heard that news,I paid lot of attention to me,as if I am trying to enlighten my soul. I am 23,it is obvious,but my heart,it is still kid...But I had to prepare myself,but everytime I am failed. But this time,I realy coundnt skip of the situtation.....From childhood,I was scared of this truth..."marraige"....But this time I had to face it....My heart was revolting and my mind was laughing at me....but I pretended to be strong...and suddenly conversation begun inside me....

My heart in heavily voice pleaded,"Please dont pretend,you also know I am right,you are forcing yourself as you have always done,How long wud you kill yourself?"

I was speechless and started thinking in my brain," I know,heart never lies,but I cant commit what it is saying,I will go weak then"....I was numb...."Now why the hell you are feeling numbness?" my Brain asked to me in an insulted manner !!

"Aah,No,Now you please dont come into this play,this is already messed"....I was feeling again going in an infinite arguement ! !

Suddenly,my heart and my brain clashed...

My Heart,which was full of wounds,leison,abrasion,hurted.....started crying" Please listen to me, you materialistic world,You Deaf God,please this time listen to me,Gimme 1 chance,I want to live my dreams,I am knitting my dreams since childhood,"

Then my Brain suddenly interfered and started yelling..."what chances...you are weak,thats why you have lost all chances,Now everything is over....
Its being more than 2 years you have passed out from college..everybody has achieved their Goal,excpet you,Its all your mistake..Your parents,family expected a lot from you,but u didn fulfil them,nobody holded you hands or pulled you behind...Be practical you heart,this is a materialistic world...if you are good,then u lack behind,if ou are bad,then spiritually you lack behind,In nutshell,you are behind"

My heart always listens to my brain,but this time it forwarded its inner voice...." I cant never be rude,coz it is not my nature,I wud love to remain behind in this materialstic world,at every cost excpet the cost of my dreams...I just wanna to stand on my feet,to tell my family,trust me,I have lot of caliber,I am not sucessful because I cant live without them,I fear being alone,I cant deal with this world,as I was always pulled inside,circumstances killed my sparkes,my hobbies and my stamina to face this world alone...but i kept quiet..I didn complain,but this time,please dont force me..Oh lord please help me"...

There was silence everywhere...the situation was emotional...I myself was crying....listening to no hopes of my heart and no statements of my brain....I carried my self.....

I mingled each of my part,my soul....and with blue eyes.....I gave myself to the hands of time ! ! I know Time has always being so cruel to me,I had left with no option,My heart and my brain was leaving me head spinning....I had no way left out....

I left myself by remembering the quote of charles Darwin "Fittest is the Survival"....